My Guest Post i Made for TLB

When i was just one week shy of turning 20 my Now Husband and i found out that we were expecting. Funny thing is i was already 8 weeks along ( yes, i said 8. Due to past medical history and my body just being weird;lol, i didn't realize i was pregnant until i was practically through most of the first trimester). Soon after learning that we were pregnant the morning sickness crept in, however; due to my body being weird it wasn't regular old morning sickness i got Hyperemesis Gravardium. Yay, right?! Now that i think back i am quiet shocked i was able to work and go to school full time through my second trimester. Even though that was the trimester where everything made me sick and i lost roughly 20 lbs. Fast forward, the day i had my son i weighed a whole whopping 13 lbs more than i did the day i realized i was pregnant. Not Cool......


I always knew that i would Breast Feed, it was never even a second thought for myself. So the day that my son was born was one hectic day, to say the least. After the L&D and everybody had stopped by, i realized i was stuck in a hospital, by myself with my newborn son. He was a good feeder however, everytime i would go and lay him in those horrendous 'cribs' he would wake up screaming. I remember feeling really alone, stressed and tired. The hospital had a walkie-talkie like set up between my room/bed (which i shared with 2 other women and newborns), and a few hours into the night when ds was having a hard to falling asleep i recall the walkie-talkie going off with a nurse asking if everything was alright. My first thought was "uh....? i guess?..." i didn't pay any mind to her, a few minutes later it went off again and a nurse came into the room to check on myself and ds. This nurse said something to me that really made me gung ho on breast feeding and being a mother. She asked if i would like them to take ds to the nursery for the night and give him a bottle of formula? I stood there shocked. I didn't know what to say at first. Once the shock wore off i just looked her in the eye and said " are you going to come home with us when we're discharged and take him away when i'm tired or he wont settle down?....And No, he will not be getting formula!". Needless to say she left in a hurry with a bit of an attitude. At that moment i noticed even health care professionals were oblivious to what myself or my ds needed. We stayed in the hospital for another 3 days because of my health, not his.



The first month was like zombie mode for dh and i, but that's to be expected for any parents of a new born. He was a champ at nursing, actually both of our children were/are. Things started to go down hill for us when he was about 8 weeks old. That's when he started teething, YES; TEETHING!! No matter what i did he would bite randomly throughout feedings. Some feeding were without incident and then others felt as if he just wanted to bite my nipple off. It was....what's the word here?...Oh, it hurt like a B****!!! Being a new mother i had no idea what to do about it, but i still continued to nurse. I went back to school for 20 hours a week within a week of him starting to teeth, i would Swell up like a water balloon while at school and long to be back home because the engorgement was more painful that i had initially imagined. I tried my hardest to pump, but to no avail i could only ever get anything out when i was psychotically engorged, and that was after being away from him for 6 hrs....I felt weird because i couldn't give my ds EBM while i was in school, he wouldn't drink formula, so we started him on super watery baby cereal and 1st foods. It kept him hydrated and full throughout the time i was gone but all he wanted to do, for at least 30 minutes, was nurse when i got home. All of that, people not supporting me fully, and the random biting sessions throughout the day had me pretty burnt out.


We weaned at 6 1/2 months. It was heart breaking, but i didn't know what else to do. The LC at the local WIC at the time wasn't really much help, nor was his doctor....to top it off all of my family members were making comments like "It's okay, he's gotten your milk for 6 months..." or " It doesn't matter, i didn't breast feed mine at all...". I didn't think much about it at the time, part of me knew i should have stuck it out longer, but part of me just wanted a break. When i got pregnant with dd i thought back about my first breast feeding relationship with ds, and how i gave up on him so much earlier than i had originally planned. So i made a pact with myself, that i would nurse dd as long as both of us felt content. She is now 18 months, and a smart; energetic teeny lil thing (18 lbs) that doesn't really show signs of stopping. We have had a few hang ups on nursing with her, mainly due to my health and needing surgery here and there since her birth, but she always picks right back up where she left off and we are quite content. Nursing has really helped mold me as a mother, sure there are times when i wanted to stop; but i always pushed forward and persevered. I feel badly that i didn't do that with ds, but i am glad i'm doing what i feel and know is right with dd. Life is full of learning experiences, and i feel that everybody needs to follow what THEY feel is right. This was certainly it for me.

No Morals.

I Have NO Morals!? What, Because i chose to give my children the best food available and don't hide in a disgusting bathroom stall or hot car to feed them because YOU feel uncomfortable? That is ridiculous. How about grow the fuck up?! You say i have no class.....i'm not flopping it all of the place for everybody to see like a strip tease at the local titty bar, i'm providing nourishment to MY child. You say it's rude,disrespectful, a private matter,  or even disgusting ect. But isn't people wearing clothing that OBVIOUSLY does not fit them fit the same stature? I don't see you going over to them making a big deal about it. How hard is it to turn your head and not pay any attention? I feel disgusted going out and about seeing being trot around when they are a size 26 but think they're a size 2, but i don't have the right to walk up to them and tell them to 'Cover Up'. So why should you have the right to tell me how to feed my child? How about grow up. Quit being such a Prude. I had the statement that Breastfeeding is a sacred, emotional connection between mother and child....much like sex....(really?....common Breastfeeding is now on the same par as sex?) and should be done in private. Yes, Sex should be done in private. However, how in the world can sex and breastfeeding even correlate together?! Can you tell me that? I thought that in America we are a Free society. Obviously we are not because some people can't get it around the mind that this is a natural, beautiful thing.

I love the other argument i get, why don't you nurse that baby at home. You know they're feeding schedule. Yes, we do know our childrens' nursing schedules; however the younger the baby the closer the intervals are. And even with older babies, sometimes they're hungry before schedule. Don't you ever get hungry outside of the general meal times ( 7am, noon and 5pm)? I'm sure you do, or at least have. I guess i can just tell you to wait until the scheduled feeding time and to....um....suck it up i suppose?....Yeah i thought not too. Another comment i often hear is, if you know ahead of time bring a bottle. Or Hell just carry a bottle with you. HELLO! Not all breastfed babies will take a bottle, and there are plenty women out there that cannot pump milk sufficiently enough like myself. Due to prior medical issues i am unable to pump ANY milk, i've tried every type of breast pump there is and to no avail, Nothing. So what does that mean, i have to stay locked in my house or hidden in a bathroom stall because you can't grow up? Please. Why don't you grow up.

I enjoy hearing the 'No Morals' or 'No Class' argument because i don't bring a bottle with me while i'm out and about with my child. Would you say that to your Grandmothers or Great Grandmothers? Because back in their day Breastfeeding was all that they had. Would you walk up to them and question their morals and class all because they were doing something that is supposed to be considered 'Normal'? Yeah, i would love to hear or even see the reaction that statement receives.

I have Morals. I am not 'flashing the world' when i discretely lift my shirt to nurse my child. I am not a flashy person in nature, so why would i want to world to stare at me. Why is it perfectly normal and exceptable in our society to be in public dressed like a fucking slut; or having outragously large amounts of fat protruding over or through our clothing, but it's not okay to nurse? Something is terribly wrong with that. You wouldn't dare walk up to the girl dressed like a skank, or approach the obese person and make a comment, but for some reason you people find it just to approach a nursing mother and call her names and demean her choices (Great Choices i might add) because you can't look away,

I'm sorry, the problem does not lay with the Mother or nursing child, the problem is You. The Problem is Society, and it needs to be corrected. America needs to grow the fuck up and i have a suggestion, i don't know Speak out about things that need to be Spoken out about, like Abuse; neglect; Drugs......not Nursing Families. This is ridiculous. It really makes me weep for the future for this country (amongst other not so hot things going on  here).....Do we really have nothing else important but to embarass and harass a Nursing Mother and Child? Do we really need to feel that self gratified? If so, you need to look inside yourself and find out what the real issue is. Because it's certainly not due to something this natural.

I Will Nurse when my child needs it. I Will NOT hide in a Bathroom; or Car; or even my house because you are immature. Oh, i guess i'm just a selfish inconsiderate Bitch. Well if i am to you, then let me be a Proud Selfish Inconsiderate Bitch, 'Shut the Fuck Up, and Grow the Fuck up. Stay the Hell out of my Business and get a damn Life!'...............

America's common misconception................

      .......*gasp* Breast Feeding............

I have come to notice how women, especially the younger generation are split.

By split i mean, they really do stand on two different sides of the fence. I have friends that EBF and friends that just regularly BF (up to the one year mark). But then.....there are the ones that refuse, and i mean down right refuse to even consider Breast Feeding. All because of one little thing........

The stupid Misconception that America has invented that the Breast is a Sexual Object. That in part has ruined or at least tweaked with the way that younger women perceive Breast Feeding. It is a really sad truth. I have had women that i know personally asked why, they simply say that they cannot imagine ; and i quote 'sitting around with a baby sucking on their Tit.' Seriously, that's the reason i have been given.

I just don't understand why there is such a large sexual 'stint' on the human breast. Hello, first and foremost it exsists to feed and nourish our young! We are the only mammals on the planet that feed our young other than breast milk when it is not deemed necessary. And yes there are times that it is necessary to Formula Feed. It's just that people always say that when they are asked why the formula feed. When in actuality; it's only a small percentage that HAS to formula feed. Sick mother, mother seriously can't lactate (only 2% of women i'm talking about here) or the Foster care system, although i feel there could be a way for milk banks to work like blood banks to help the babies in need.

It's the stupid ass stigma that the entertainment industry and PRUDE people have implanted in society to make the human breast this big bad sexual object. When, in fact it is not. It utterly astounds me.  I mean really, once people get over themselves and other human beings body parts it's not a big deal at all. Hello, women are just feeding their children the way that they were intended.

I feel as if our society has failed us.

                                                                       These are the

Breastfeeding Rates Around the World

Country	% of mothers who start	% who continue 6 months or longer
Sweden	98	53
Norway	98	50
Poland	93	10
Canada	80	24
Netherlands	68	25
Britain	63	21
United States	57	20
Sources: Baby Milk Action, Cambridge, England; Center for Breastfeeding Information, Schaumburg, IL

  

Isn't that just remarkable? I don't understand why all these other countries have such hire statistics and us here in the US fall s short. I think partially it has to do with how much our society backs up our decision to BF. For example in countries like New Zealand, Norway and Australia have breast feeding rooms in stores, lots of activism and they don't pass out formula like candy in doctors offices like here in America. Their country does not under mind the decision to Breast Feed and i feel that is a big reason as to why they have such high rates.

All that i ask of Americans is to really weigh in on the decisions you make regarding your children. Especially the decision on how to nourish your children. Because Breast Feeding is so much more than nourishment.