Happy Birthday To Me......

SO today i turned 24, Happy Birthday to me right?.....Not so much. Donald had to work today, so that really really sucked i think it's been a couple years since i was able to have an actual FUN Birthday. And it really sucked. The main thing that i wanted for my birthday this year was jsut a night or two of complete silence. You know what i mean?! But no. Skylair is going through this damn tripp where he doesn't want to stay the night anymore at Donald's moms house. Which really REALLY blows. He is sooo stressing me out and he refuses to stay over. So i dont get any type of break away from him. I am loosing my gawd damn mind! And another thing, I had finally gotten Isabella to sleep in her bed all by herself, not through the whole entire night, but from 8-230 and once from 10-430, and then that damn rainy storm came last week, and with this house being all super old the winds freaked her the hell out and she wouldn't go back to sleep in there again last week. It's super frustrating! I i know this sounds stupid, but i constantly put myself down, i think that i'm a stupid mother and everything, and then for some reason i always find myself finding things about myself that i can't stand! i think it's because i need a break and i'm just loosing my sanity right now. I haven't quite decided if i'll actually say what i keep talking myself down about. maybe another time, i don't know if i really want anybody to know what it is that i really think about myself. Donald tries and tries to be there for me, but i still find myself stressing out and going out of my mind and that always leads to me crying alone and putting myself down. i think that thoes are DEFFINITE signs that i need a vacation. But i don't have anybody to watch the kids. My mom wont watch them because she says that they cry to damn much, Donalds' mom can't really watch both of them for long periods of time because she's always stuck with Jadelynn, since Sophie wont move out and uses her mom as the live in babysitter. Maybe i just need to get out. Any Advice?.........